Fuck You

Thursday, June 7th, 2007

Subject:	Meet Your Maker
Time:	2:35 pm.

To the negroids of the world, meet your maker:

Thank you for your time.

Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.

Wednesday, June 7th, 2006

Subject:	Women Suck
Time:	1:57 am.

Women are horrendous. Nothing good ever came out of a woman except my cock after I ejaculated. Everything they do and everything they say is retarded and puts all humanity to shame.

The greatest mistake mankind has made thus far happened a few hundred years ago when the slave trades began. White people enslaved black people. I repeat, white people enslaved black people.

Here's how we could have corrected this mistake: Human Males enslaved human females.

It's true women aren't as strong, or smart, but that doesn't mean they can't work! One woman might not be able to carry a barrel of my semen, but 10 women could certainly get the job done. Unfortunately, women aren't slaves (they even can vote?!) and they roam freely among the males as though they are equals.

But the biggest problem is that they don't shut the fuck up when told to do so. They blab on and on about bullshit no one cares about like, "should I get an abortion?" and "I don't know if I want to be fucked in the ass." Luckily for all men everywhere, I have the solution:

PUT A FUCKIN CORK IN IT!

DISCLAIMER: The girls pictured above should not take offense if they view these images. They are the unfortunate girls who take pictures with their mouths open like they're about to suck a cock.

That's right, I hereby propose that all women everywhere have corks put in their mouths until a respectable male (me) deems it fit the cork be removed. Once popped the woman will have no more than 20 seconds to say whatever nonsense she has to say, then the cork is to be replaced.

And why stop there? When I approach a woman, I want to know she's fresh, untainted, and fertile. You can never tell these days! Hymens break for the stupidist of reasons. I suggest the following:

At birth, each woman should be corked as the image demonstrates. This way, when you pull that cork out and hear that popping sound of freshness, you'll know you're in for a real treat.

There is absolutely no reason for you, be you man or woman, to not support these ideas. Well, I can't expect too much of the women, I'd be hard-pressed to find even one that can read. So here's to the men who support this idea, which is all of them.

Comments: Read 25 or Add Your Own.

Tuesday, June 7th, 2005

Subject:	Mike Zanier Could Kick Your Fucking Ass, Raw
Time:	8:51 am.

Mike Zanier sucks so much. Look at him. He's a fucking ass-executive and he knows it. Here are some more reasons Mike Zanier is a big-time piece of cuntglue:

Mike Zanier...

...is hairy.

He's so hairy that when he wipes his ass, hair is usually found on the toilet paper. He's not alone in this act though.
...has a generic penis.

It's not 9 inches so it sucks. In fact, it's about 4.
...is overweight.

So much so that if you give him a hot dog when he's hungry he'll put your name, Lucas Stahl, in his journal.
...shaves his unibrow.

Fuck off, I look good.

...doesn't smoke, or do drugs, or drink

And thus is deemed uncool by the addict community. But, it doesn't matter because I fucking hate them all.

...works Security at Laurel Park Place mall.

It's okay though because he just sits on his fatass eating pizzas the whole time instead of guarding you pressure-clits.

...is actually the perfect male specimen.

Could fuck a horse raw.

You know what, fuck you all. You're nothing more than a bunch of pussybombs that explode your juices into the world and get us all very gooey and, frankly, it's gross.

I hate flip-flops a lot. I hate seeing women wearing flip-flops. I hate seeing men wearing flip-flops. It's so gross, no one wants to see your nasty-ass feet. God damn, do I look like Marjuan (M-A-R-W-A-N, doesn't deserve to have his name spelled right) Chammout? Do I have a foot-fetish? Did I ever say to Mike Zanier: "You know, if a woman has good feet, everything just falls into place." No, I didn't.

This entry sucks so much, I think I'm just going to completely change it to where I'm making fun of black people. They're useless anyway, so why the hell not? Same goes for nasty Indians too.

A black person told me to fetch him a slice of pizza the other day. Yeah, I got him his slice, but I also brought a few yards of rope and promptly lynched his black-ass.

Don't fuck with me.

Comments: Read 29 or Add Your Own.

Monday, June 7th, 2004

Subject:	Ugly People Suck
Time:	5:15 pm.

Ugly people are the worst people on Earth. They achieve nothing and are detrimental to society in every way. In the school I currently attend, 99 out of every 100 kids are ugly. This leaves about 24 good looking people (not including myself, of course). If you're ugly and you don't know it they I have a few tips that you can follow that may help you figure it out.

Ugly Tips
- If your name is Brett Hillman, you are Ugly.
- If you are any of the following livejournal members: Evilmonkey211, HauntedEyes, Stardust767, 0fuck_that0, then you're ugly.
- If you have a unibrow - Moreover, if you have a unibrow and you're a girl (think Anastasia DeFrank), then you're ugly.
- If you resemble a Kraken more than a Human, then you are ugly.
- If you are a Mutant, then you are ugly.
- If you are Melissa Dobbyn, then you are ugly.
- If you are Julie Santo, then you are hideous and you fucked up the spartan in the front of the school. Not to mention your weight is comparable to that of a Mammoth and the fact that when you sit down you are technically "beached" makes you Horrendous.
- If your face is decaying, then you're ugly.
- If you're dead, then you're ugly.

I hate Chris Stanzik. If you're him, then you're ugly and you're an idiot too.

Speaking of idiocy, if you spell Awkward as OCCWARD, then you need to hook your intestines up to a stag running through a forested mountain - you do not merit the credentials to be alive.

- If you consider yourself "underground", then consider yourself Ugly.
- If you're Alex Haber, then you're ugly.
- If your last entry, nay, any entry, contains lyrics to a song you've recently heard and that you are now using as charter to the way you live, then you are ugly.
- If you're fat, then you are ugly.
- If you're incredibly skinny, then you're ugly.
- If you're a female with hairy arms, then you're ugly.
- If you're Wenjia Chen, then you're ugly.
- If you're an Asian female, then you're ugly.
- If Andy Gabrysiak considers you "intriguing", then you're ugly.
- If you are both 40 years old AND 12 years old, then you're ugly.
- If you're any of the morons who unwittingly added me as a friend because I added you, then you're ugly.

You're also dumb.

- If you're a Harlequin baby, then you're ugly.
- If you wear "flip flops", then you're ugly.

I am beautiful, so fuck you forever.

Comments: Read 146 or Add Your Own.

Saturday, June 7th, 2003

Subject:	Fat People Suck
Time:	2:23 pm.

I hate fat people. Why are there fat people? If you're fat, why dont you lose the weight? AND WHY are you offended when people call you fat? You're fat and if you dont know it you should blow your head off. Fucking fat ass food gluttons. I hate you fat people. Stop being fat.

Comments: Read 379 or Add Your Own.

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